A note about identification: Although nearly all of the writers who are currently incarcerated gave permission to have their full name and address included, Positively Aware was advised to print only their first name and their state. PA will forward mail to them as is possible; incarceral systems often have complicated rules for communications. We apologize to the writers.
I am a 40-year-old transwoman on Ohio’s death row. I’ve been a huge advocate and voice for trans and HIV-positive inmates in prisons basically all my adult life. I enjoy the opportunity to network with other like-minded people.
—Victoria, Ohio
Untitled
Born in captivity mentally
Inside my transgender identity
Eventually it manifests physically
Stripping my true femininity
Imprisoned in forced masculinity
In prisons and state penitentiaries
Every day my safety in jeopardy
With no one but me there protecting me
Insecurities ate at me constantly
Economically raised up in poverty
With thoughts continuously taunting me
And dreams seem to always be haunting me
Sexuality became a commodity
My body just traded like property
Like the cheapest spots on Monopoly
Unaware what it actually costed me
My biography lived post traumatically
Systematically the system’s attacking me
Statistically supposed to die tragically
Most likely some transgender casualty
Surrounded by such inhumanity
The enemy threatens my sanity
HIV threatens to banish me
As I fight for those who come after me.
The Row
The road that we stroll
The price on our head
The ropes on our throats
Like yokes on our necks
Like the edge of a ledge
We choke on the smoke
Of the lives that we’ve led
Broke down from the load
And the crowns on our head
With the boulders we hold
On our shoulders and neck
It’s cold on the Row
Alone as we thread
Taking toll on our souls
As hopelessness spreads
An oath to the ghost
Of the dead in my head
I know what is owed
For the tears that were shed
The lives that were stole
The pleas that were pled
‘Tis my ode to the souls
For the blood that was bled.
Beyond Death
Not enough doses,
To cope with emotions.
Live every day hopeless,
Just go through the motions.
I try to stay focused,
When everything’s broken.
And everyone’s bogus,
Hearts frozen and soulless …
I know what defeat is,
I know what a creep is.
I know how it feels,
When they feed off your weakness.
Ate crumbs with some bums,
I know what the street is.
Fight demons with demons,
I know what for keeps is …
Nowhere left to hide,
No tears left to cry.
The pain still remains,
The rain won’t subside.
I take life in stride,
No fear in my eyes.
I’m sentenced to die,
As if I’m alive.
Coyote Christians Contemplate Modern Man (2022) by Paul, Illinois, who has been previously incarcerated and is on probation, pondering
“what we can do as spiritual people to address the problems of the world.”