The Elephant in ADAP's Living Room
Posted by EarthMother, Jun 1 2010, 05:46 PM
The Elephant in ADAP’s Living Room
We have all heard multiple stories about the crisis in ADAP funding. State after state, experiencing unprecedented budget deficits (and governing bodies that refuse to consider raising taxes, even though most people support it), which have forced them to take the draconian step of instituting waiting lists for those who need ADAP in order to gain access to HIV drugs.
We have also heard from advocates and medical experts warning of the long-term results of waiting lists: Increased infection rates, people not getting tested because they can't afford treatment if they do test positive, more incidence of faster advancement from HIV to AIDS because there are no drugs to halt the progress, more hospitalizations due to opportunistic infections, more deaths.
But the one thing that no one seems to want to say out loud is the brutal truth: If you are on a waiting list, one of three things has to happen in order for you to move up – either someone who’s getting their drugs through ADAP now has to gain the money and/or insurance to pay for them; the money to fund the ADAP you’re waiting for has to be provided; or someone must die for you to advance. That is, if you don’t die first and provide someone else with the upward move. One thing is certain - no one on a waiting list is going to finally get their meds because someone before them somehow got cured and doesn’t need them anymore.
We’ve all experienced waiting lists. You give your name to a hostess at a crowded restaurant and sooner or later she calls your name because someone else’s meal is over; you put your name on a list to receive a DVD that’s coming out in two months; you put yourself on stand-by because that’s cheaper than buying a full-fare plane ticket. But the only other waiting list as dire as ADAP’s is the one for organ transplants.
Politicians like to bandy about phrases like, “life-saving medications,” and “access to urgently needed treatment,” but no one in Washington is saying, “when someone else dies,” or “if you don’t die waiting.” So where should the line be drawn by legislators trying to “do what’s best” for their cities, states, and the country?
Also unspoken is the suspicion of some in the HIV community that in the dark corners of negotiation of backroom deals and debate in committees and sub-committees, unless a legislator has been touched by HIV/AIDS, either personally or indirectly, there is the question, “Compared to national security (or jobs or the economy or education or union pensions or the oil spill, etc., etc.), so what if a few of those people die? Most of them are on Medicaid anyway.” To paraphrase Ebeneezer Scrooge, “If they’re going to die, best they get on with it and reduce the HIV-positive population.”
There can be no argument that the problem of what to do with sick people who can’t afford to buy the medical care that would make them well, or at least allow them to manage their illness, is not solved by the current so-called health care reform, nor is there any doubt that programs like ADAP are a drain on an already overloaded system. But the bottom line is this: Unless ADAP is saved by the Access ADAP Act (Senate bill 3401), currently under debate in Congress, or by a miracle mega-coalition of billionaires, there will be people halving their doses, sharing meds, not taking meds, getting sicker and, finally, dying. If political “leaders” think it’s bad now, just wait until the elephant starts to stampede. Unless everyone who is living with HIV/AIDS, providing services to them, working with them, loving them – unless we ALL start saying it out loud, the elephant in the room is going to run us over.
Being Bionic
Posted by EarthMother, May 17 2010, 06:45 PM
Well, as of the 14th, it's official - Dr. Schopp has declared me fit to leave the non-urban haven of my recovery in Springfield and return to Chicago's noise and energy.
As I'd hoped, he confirmed that I'm not crazy, my surgical leg IS longer than the other, but he explained in clear detail why that was and why he thinks it will resolve on its own over time. I decided not to tell him about my whacking-it-with-a-mallet idea. He also approved chiropractic adjustment for my tailbone and told me it's OK if I continue to sleep on my waterbed. He also freed me from the 90 degree angle precaution - PHEW!
Kathy drove her car around to find a route that is the same distance as my walk to and from TPAN and I've successfully traveled it twice, though the cane was necessary for the last half of the trip. But even though it may disappoint Enid that I will not be leaping tall buildings, nor even upping my pace, at least I know that, no matter how long it takes, that walk will be painless and hopefully, the limp will continue to fade.
Bottom line? I'm SO glad I did it, I'm grateful to Dr. Schopp and the nurses at Memorial hospital, Cyndi and Gina, my physical therapists, my parents who have been steadfast in their love, patience, support, and generosity, my sisters who there arern't words enough to thank, my friends Sal, Judy, Sandi, and Tobin who were anchors to my reality, and to TPAN for allowing me to work from Kathy's kitchen and take the time I needed to recover in the right way.
Now it's onward to device-free living, more adherence to physical therapy, and never being able to go through airport security quickly again!
Becoming Bionic, Part 3
Posted by EarthMother, May 13 2010, 01:56 PM
This will be short, but much has transpired as I sit here in Week 5 of my recovery.
The cane is retired except for when I know I'll be standing or walking much more than I usually do. Shopping with my Mom and sister on Mother's Day, for instance (I neglected to bring the cane that day and ooooh, did I pay the price!) and I suspect I will have it along when I take that first half-mile walk to work when I get back. The leg tires so easily, though on the day of my "graduation" from physical therapy, I was told to expect that for about six months as the damage done to the muscles, tendons, and nerves during surgery continues to heal and strength returns.
The incision looks like a thick pink worm and itches occasionally, but I'm able to sleep on it better and an adjustment of my sister's sleep number bed from 40 to 20 has allowed me to finally sink into deep sleep more often - that is truly a relief!
As I anticipate my visit to Dr. Schopp this Friday, my main concern is the difference in leg length that hasn't gone away as Cyndi told me it would. I can't stand straight without the surgery knee being bent or the heel of the other foot coming off the ground. The disparity feels like more than an inch to me, but I don't know if that's true or only my perception. In any case, the uneveness has resulted in my tailbone being totally out of its normal placement, leading to sharp pain when I move in certain ways, and a limp that, while not painful, certainly does not lend itself to grace or ease. It's my hope that he'll tell me the leg will adjust itself over time and I just have to keep walking with the "heel strike, roll through" method Cyndi taught me. Either that or maybe he can take a big mallet and whack the bottom of the surgery side foot, thus driving the end of the prosthesis deeper into the bone and evening me up. Yeah, sure. I'll report on that later.
All in all, I can't quite believe that this body of mine has managed to take me from that world of hurt, swelling, stiffness, and dysfunction that I woke up in after surgery to the relatively painless, independent-of-devices, unswollen place I'm in today. What a tough old broad she is and one that, through this process, I've come to love and appreciate even more than I thought possible. Who'da thunk it?
Becoming Bionic (Part2)
Posted by EarthMother, Apr 28 2010, 09:11 PM
Becoming Bionic, Part 2
So, when I left you last time, I was on my way to a nap, something I’ve found not only necessary, but impossible to deny! At this point in Week 3 of my recovery, naps are less relentlessly demanding, thankfully, but I still “hit the wall” everyday at some point.
I want to mention pain management here, as it has been an issue of concern for me. When I first came out of surgery, I was on a morphine pump. Granted, I probably never pushed the button as often as I should’ve, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that the biggest effect was a tsunami wave of nausea without any pain relief that I could discern. They took me off the pump when it became clear that I was choosing pain over nausea and I was put on Ultram (tramadol), since most of the other choices (Vicodin, Percocet, etc.) would have been potentially harmful to my diseased liver (also of import for those who are co-infected with hep C). I know that I have developed an unusually high pain threshold in the months that I lived with my damaged hip, so that might have played a part, but I found the Ultram to be virtually ineffective and so stopped taking it a couple days after my release from the hospital. My advice to you is that if you know you have a low pain threshold, take the time to talk to a pain management specialist before your surgery, so you have different options lined up. My anesthesiologist was great in explaining the surgical aspect, but I never saw him afterwards.
And now on to the good news – swelling is gone, as is most of the bruising; staples have been removed (surprisingly painlessly); the walker has been returned to my parents’ utility closet, never to be seen again (hopefully); and my physical therapist, Cyndi, says I’ll probably be able to retire the cane within the week.
Which brings me to something you’ll probably hear so much you’ll want to scream – YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR PHYSICAL THERAPY! Believe me, I am so anti-exercise that when the preaching began, I just wanted to curl up and shut it out. But, fortunately for me, I had already experienced the wonderful benefits of PT back in Chicago (thanks to Pat Staszak at Andersonville Physical Therapy), so I gritted my teeth and made ready to bear it! It will seem stupid at first – ankle pumps, heel slides, knee presses and, the worst, side slides and butt clenches. The pain defeats the determination to “get through it” and there’s a point at which you have to wonder how 10 repetitions of these seemingly elementary movements could possibly be doing any good. But they do and soon it becomes clear that those few minutes every day are a small price to pay for your mobility.
Challenges remain, however. Finding that “sweet spot” in bed which leads to deep REM sleep still evades me, though it has become easier to settle for longer periods of time. Interestingly, it’s not pain from the surgery that interrupts, but rather the tightness and feeling of strain in the muscles of my thigh and calf on the surgery side. It’s so hard to get comfortable. Cyndi assures me this is normal and I have diligently done the stretching exercises she’s added to my repertoire, but the constant, deep ache in my calf nags. Luckily, she’s okayed a massage and my sister has a massage therapist who charges $60 for “however long it takes” – ah, the simple joys of non-urban living!
There is also still difficulty sitting for long periods of time, but I’ve taken to walking around the kitchen here when I’ve been typing for too long – excuse me for a few minutes while I do so now. Ahh…that’s better.
I’ll leave you now in anticipation of my PT “graduation” tomorrow – for this big event, I may actually get out of my usual “schmata” and into the one pair of sweat pants I brought. Whooppee.
Becoming Bionic (Part 1) - The Journey Through Hip Replacement
Posted by EarthMother, Apr 23 2010, 04:39 PM
Becoming Bionic (Part 1)
When I first told my colleagues at Positively Aware about my upcoming hip replacement surgery, Enid, as is her wont, came up with yet another nickname for me and I went from “Sue-renity” to “Bionic Woman.” As I sit here in my sister’s kitchen in Springfield, two weeks into a six-week recovery, “bionic” is the last thing I feel like.
But since this surgery is becoming more and more common for HIV-positive folks of even younger age than my 54 years, I thought it might be beneficial to share with you some of what I’ve experienced. I hope this will enable some of you to go into it with a more realistic set of expectations than you may have had without it.
First, though I doubt surgeons would be as reluctant to perform the surgery when the cause is HIV-related as they were when looking at my x-rays of "just" an arthritic hip, be strong in the knowledge that you have a right to be able to walk and live free from the pain of that bone-against-bone grinding that is so excruciating, regardless of the probability that you may outlive your prosthesis and need to have it replaced eventually. As I told the first surgeon I saw in Chicago when he suggested I wait another ten years, I didn’t want to live another ten DAYS in the kind of pain I was in, let alone ten years. Thankfully, I consulted Dr. Jeffrey Schopp in Springfield, the surgeon who replaced my father's bum hip, and he understood that waiting was not an option for me.
This reminds me to say something about the absolute necessity of a solid support system during recovery. I chose to have my surgery in Springfield because my parents and my sister Kathy live there and there are only two steps in Kathy's house. My youngest sister Kerry also committed to coming to see me through the first week. Whatever your plans, do not think for an instant that you will be able to handle this alone. And if you're like me, someone who does not like and isn't good at asking for help, you'll have to get over it. Especially for the first week to 10 days, you will need help getting up and down from sitting or reclining; help getting up and down stairs; you won't be able to bend over, so picking stuff up off the floor, loading the dishwasher, tying your shoes, etc. will require assistance; standing for any length of time will be challenging, so waiting for the toast to pop up or the eggs to cook will have to be someone else's job. Face it - this is no time to cling to your independence.
A word here about THE THREE PRECAUTIONS. You will start hearing about these if you take a class as I did designed to prepare hip/knee replacement patients for surgery and recovery. The precautions are: You cannot bend more than 90 degrees; you cannot cross your legs; you cannot twist your hips. All this to prevent your new hip from dislocating before it has a chance to settle in for good. The bending thing is the most challenging for me, but luckily, I'm becoming an expert at the use of my "grabber" - an ingenius device with a trigger at one end, a 2-foot rod and a pincher at the other end with which I can pick up my cat's food bowl (but not water, oh, no, not water), discarded socks, and the TV remote from the floor without violating the precaution.
You’re likely to hear that most patients are up and about the day of the surgery, exclaiming their joy at the lack of hip pain. Bullshit. Yes, you might very well be UP the same day, but you will by no means be pain-free, even if you’re hooked up to a morphine pump. The fact is that that pain you used to feel will be replaced by the incision pain of layers of muscle and nerves being cut into and now having to knit back together. Every movement you make will hurt, but it is DIFFERENT and somehow holds the promise of getting better, though it’s hard to imagine at the time. If you're lucky, your doctor will be honest with you, as Dr. Schopp was with me when he told me I'd hate his guts for the first week - I don't really blame him, though - it's just the process.
Then there’s the swelling. If you ever wondered what it felt like to be a well-packed sausage, this will be your chance to find out. My legs, ankles, and feet swelled up to one and a half times their normal size, along with a colorful tattoo of bruising that spread from my butt to my knee. Ice supposedly helps, as does elevation, but it’s been two weeks as I write this and my toes on the surgery leg are still resembling cocktail wienies.
You’ll start your new era of movement with the help of a walker – yes, the kind your grandmother holds onto for dear life. While you’ll be grateful for the support and sense of security it offers, you’ll find that you can add shoulder, arm, and hand muscle strain to the list of bodily woes. My advice is to get yourself some wonderful sisters like mine to give you shoulder and neck rubs and remind you not to wear your shoulders as earrings! Friends, lovers, and other family members will also do! Once again, the need for support and comfort is essential.
I’ll end this first part with a mention of fatigue, since it’s the reason I’ll be ending! You’ll find that as your body claims 80% of your energy for healing that extensive damage and adjusting to the titanium it will now live with, you will have precious little left with which to do the work you usually do, keep house, answer email, or even get from one room to another. If you’re like me, you’ll struggle between beating yourself up for being such a wimp and telling yourself this is a necessary and normal way to feel, that to push it would only prolong the process. So even though you might hate it, stop, turn off the computer, and go take a nap!
Fighting Stigma One T-shirt at a Time
Posted by EarthMother, Mar 29 2010, 05:29 PM
Fighting Stigma One T-shirt at a Time
(Respectfully plagiarized from Jeff Berry)
A few weeks back, a press release from the AIDS Taskforce of Greater Cleveland (ATFGC) came across my desk announcing their “Anti-Stigma Campaign.” CEO Earl Pike and the staff of ATFGC came up with the idea of distributing red t-shirts with “HIV Positive” on the front and asking people to wear them throughout the day on March 26 and then record their experiences. This would be an opportunity for both HIV-positive and -negative people to fight the stigma surrounding the disease by expressing their solidarity with those living with it. Thousands of people in South Africa have done it; Annie Lennox has done it, why not Cleveland?
I was inspired and called Rebecca Strong at the ATFGC to see if we could get some of the shirts for TPAN, expecting that all 35 of our staff members, as well as some volunteers and/or clients, would want to join in such an important effort. I mean, rarely does a day go by here that the word “stigma” isn’t spoken or written, especially as it affects the African American community. Even though none of us thought we could change the world by wearing a t-shirt for a day, maybe we could cause a baby step of shift by being willing to confront it. Rebecca reported that in Cleveland, more than 400 people had ordered shirts.
Ten TPAN staff members and three other folks ended up ordering t-shirts – five of them are HIV-positive, one is African American, four are women, and eight are HIV-negative. I was disappointed, yes, but I guess everyone has their own relationship with stigma and I won’t presume to judge those who chose not to participate, whatever their reasons.
Instructions were given as to where to post stories of the day, thoughts, feelings, photos. Not being one who knows (or wants to) how the whole Facebook thing works, I’m writing about it here, as well as sending Rebecca a copy.
My day started with a trip to a doctor's appointment in a large medical building next to a hospital. Unfortunately, it was too chilly to go without a coat, but I took my coat off as soon as I got inside and stood waiting for the elevator. It was early in the morning, so there weren’t a lot of people around, but the two who joined me looked at me, at my shirt, and then looked away. I smiled, but got no response.
When I got to the doctor’s office, the receptionist did a bit of a double-take and then said, “I didn’t know you were HIV-positive!” I explained that while I’m not positive myself, I was wearing the shirt as a way of expressing my support for those who are and I told her about the concept of the t-shirts. She was interested and said, “Oh, I wish I’d known! I’m sure everyone here would’ve wanted to participate!” Knowing that they do see HIV-positive patients there, I told her I hoped it would become a national, annual event and I’d keep her up to date.
The best moment of the day came as I was waiting for the elevator after my appointment. I was joined in the hall by a well-dressed, attractive black woman, a bit younger than me, who did the look-look away thing, but when the elevator came, she entered and held the door for me. I should explain that I walk with a cane due to severe hip pain, so she’d not only scanned the t-shirt, but the cane as well. As we began to descend, she cleared her throat and said, “Excuse me, but are you disabled because of the HIV?”
My immediate thought was, “Disabled?!?!” But then I realized she’d put the cane and the t-shirt together in her mind. I smiled and told her, “No. I’m not HIV-positive and the cane is only until I get my hip replaced next month. But there is a growing concern about HIV-positive people experiencing bone loss and weakness due to the medications they take to control the virus. People younger than me are having hip replacements, as well as experiencing other things that usually come at a later age.”
She looked perplexed and responded, “I had no idea! What a shame.” And then the elevator opened and we parted.
I was glad she’d had the nerve to ask and I was glad I’d had that “teaching moment,” but it also underscored something I’ve run into many times over my years of working in the HIV/AIDS field – we are an insulated, and somewhat self-segregated, community. Negative or positive, we stick together in our comfort zones and rarely go beyond the confines of our known quantities. The “outside world” doesn’t know us, either the positive people or the negative ones who choose to be in their world. Many of the outsiders cannot understand why anyone who’s not HIV-positive would want to work with and for people who are. They have incomplete and incorrect ideas about how the disease makes people look, how it is managed, how it’s transmitted, and how it can be prevented. It’s because of those ideas, and the fear they inspire, that stigma and discrimination exist and thrive. Unless we are willing to own the illness or our allegiance to those who have it, stigma will never be defeated.
Thanks to the dedicated people at ATFGC for initiating this – I hope we can keep in touch, perhaps draw other organizations in and plan to expand this event nationally.
I may be naïve, but I have high hopes for next year’s Anti-Stigma Day.
What Were They Thinking?
Posted by EarthMother, Mar 26 2010, 03:05 PM
What Were They Thinking?
After all the health care rants I’ve written, I thought it necessary to comment on the passing of the legislation that President Obama signed on the 23rd of March.
First, congratulations to the Congressional representatives from Illinois who went against the fear-mongering, alarmist pandering of the opposition in order to vote yes. Secondly, to Congressman Lipinski and Congresswoman Biggert, do you really think you can avoid the cost of siding with selfish, greed-driven, hateful Republicans against your Democratic constituents?
Sadly, because of the customary apathetic Democratic mindset, they may actually get away with it. Just as the Right-wingnut army is currently getting away with violence and destruction against those who voted to move America a little closer to being a society that cares for ALL her citizens, not just the wealthy.
And to Eric Cantor, who accuses Democrats of “using reports of recent threats of violence for political gain,” I say, “How dare you?!” If the tables were turned, do you for one New York nanosecond think that Republicans would not be fueling the fire, screaming about how ‘true patriots’ wouldn’t dare threaten elected officials or whipping each other into a frenzy by murmuring about the ‘radical leftist forces’ in the hallways of Congress? ERIC!! Get REAL!
The fact is that all those intransigent Republicans and their insurance company buddies, along with a shameful number of so-called Democrats were, and are, thinking that somehow, some way, the forces of money and influence are going to ride to the “rescue” and save us all from the horror of being able to see a doctor when we get sick or, even worse, deal with the devastating effects of a chronic illness without the added stress of sleepless nights worrying about the bills. They’re not satisfied with the woeful inadequacies of this legislation. They’re not content with the enormous profits (some of which will fuel their future campaigns) the insurance and medical industrial complex will rake in.
Chuck Todd hit the nail on the head when he said the health care reform debate was the true measure of the ideological difference between the two parties, but he didn’t go far enough, so I will. That difference comes down to one thing – how each party sees their fellow Americans. True Democrats see the American people as a family that should care for, encourage, and support each other; they acknowledge, if not respect, the value of ALL life; they try to forgive, or at least allow, others’ words and acts of hatred and bigotry; they seek peace. Republicans and their ilk see the American populace as “us” or “them” based on economic, racial, religious, or social factors by which they determine human value; their respect for life is limited to unborn Americans, as evidenced by their disregard for endangered species, the citizens of other countries, and adult Americans whom they feel justified in threatening or killing because they’re a “them”; they sneer at words and acts of kindness or compassion and attempts at diplomacy instead of war as signs of “weakness”; they seek domination.
All the yammering about the “cost” and the raising of the deficit is camouflage, because if they were really concerned about cost, they would be talking about the cost of even more people relying on emergency room care than do now, or dealing with people dying in the streets (how much did that cost during Katrina?). They wail about our children and grandchildren having to pay for this – unless true universal health care becomes a reality, what makes them think they will have children and grandchildren? Sure, most of them can afford to pay for prenatal care or problem pregnancies or complications during delivery or birth defects or a lifetime of care for disabled children – and if they can’t their kick-ass Congressional insurance will pay – but the majority of Americans are not in that same boat, especially the poor women who have always been, and still are, denied access to abortions which would save many lives, not to mention the “cost” of society paying for children born into poverty, abuse, crime, and the likelihood of prison time. Oh, I forgot, those children’s lives are “sacred” – at least until they’re born. Those 59,000 nuns were right – health care reform IS pro-life!
The health care reform question comes down to a very simple thing – those who are for it want everyone to have access to health care; those against it want only those who can pay for it to be able to get it.
So it’s up to those of us who want to see this small step in the right direction expand and become true progress. We can’t shut up now. We have to let our politicians know that this is OK for now, but we want more, we demand more. We have to use our voting power to show Lipinski and Biggert that they cannot escape the consequences of their votes. We have to reward Schakowsky, Bean, Rush, Jackson, Gutierrez, Quigley, Davis, and Burris and Durbin for having the courage to vote yes. The Republicans are already entering their “full court press,” whipping those teabaggers and their “base” into a frenzy – and that’s something they do much better than we do because they have the energy of anger and judgment, of “us and them” while we don’t want to be “mean” or hurt anyone’s feelings – we just want everyone to get along.
But in order for that to happen, we have to be a force, not a whimper, in shaping our society into one where that is possible. Come ON, people!
A Lifetime in Shoes
Posted by EarthMother, Feb 23 2010, 07:27 PM
A Lifetime in Shoes
All sorts of efforts are now coming out of the woodwork to encourage people to find the activist within to promote real health care reform. One of those efforts is the Campaign for Better Health Care’s “Get It Done!” campaign. The point is to encourage people to drop off shoes at their Congressional representatives’ offices to symbolize someone who has died or is in danger of dying due to lack of health care.
You notice I said “health CARE,” not insurance. Because as most of us know, especially those on Medicaid or Medicare, “coverage” does not, and never will, guarantee care.
According to the CBHC, 11,000 people have died in Illinois in the last 15 years due to lack of health care. One must wonder how that number would be increased if it included all those who HAD insurance but still didn’t get the care they needed. And how many never got to take the drugs they needed?
As the pharmaceutical and insurance company lobbyists work harder than they have ever worked to earn their six-figure salaries in order to keep the current system of capitalistic greed and profit steamrolling over whatever efforts are made to eradicate the threat that it poses to those of us who will never see six figures of anything but medical bills, organizations like the CBHC and Health Care for America Now try to prod us to get up and get vocal.
A recent poll done by Research 2000 revealed that, contrary to the capitalistic spin, 68% of people in Illinois favor a public plan for all as part of any real reform. No, this does not mean that you can’t continue to pay through the nose for your United Healthcare or any other private policy. But IF YOU CHOOSE (remember all that fear-mongering Republican talk about choice? Oh, wait, that’s choice only in terms of who you choose to PAY, not choice in terms of who you choose to love, whether or not you choose to be a parent, or any other life choice that has nothing to do with someone making a profit), you could buy into a government-run, non-profit system. Their fear is NOT that government would be controlling the health care choices of the American people. Their fear is that so many would choose the government system that the private companies would no longer be able to maintain the strangle-hold they currently have on our wallets and therefore would not be making the profits that can then be invested in political campaigns.
Uh-huh. So get those old shoes out of the Goodwill bag and leave them with a note about the person you lost or your fears about who’s next at the door of your elected representatives. Go to the Health Care for America Now rally on Wednesday, February 24 from 6:00 – 7:00 at the Chicago Temple, 77 W Washington St. inside on the first floor. Write your senators and representatives, write a letter to the editor, Google “health care reform” and read blogs and comment and write your own. Let them know we’re out here and we’re ready to pull a “Network” moment.
And, no, I am not speaking for TPAN or Positively Aware. This is just me, being mad as hell and not taking it anymore. I hope you join me.
Don't Ask Them Not to Tell
Posted by EarthMother, Feb 2 2010, 06:05 PM
Don’t Ask Them Not to Tell
I just finished writing yet another letter to my elected representatives in Congress urging them to join with President Obama and repeal the ludicrous “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in the military.
I told them that I hoped at least one of them had seen the "West Wing" episode showing a scene with a panel of military higher-ups arguing with the White House Chief of Staff and others when Admiral Fitzwallace (Chairman of the Joint Chiefs) comes in and reminds everyone that there was a time in military history when black men like him weren't allowed to serve. Gods! I love that show!
Who knows how many gay and lesbian soldiers would prove to be courageous and innovative leaders if given the chance to be themselves and still move up in the ranks like their straight counterparts? Who knows how many operations, missions, and lives would be saved by their participation? Who knows what improvements would be made in the uniforms? Well, OK, stereotyping, perhaps, but, really, you can’t tell me that a guy who does drag in 4” heels couldn’t find a way to make Army boots more comfortable!
In a time when our military has been stretched to the point of having to keep sending people back for tour after tour of duty until they have mental breakdowns, to accept soldiers with criminal records and sociopathic tendencies , how can they possibly justify turning anyone away based on who they choose to have sex with?
And as for national security and the danger of all those blabby gays spilling our secrets during a tryst – anyone who’s ever worked at an AIDS service organization has personally witnessed the titanic ability of gay people to keep a secret when it’s essential! The ability, for anyone, gay, bi, or straight, to hide their Truth in terms of their HIV status is one thing that's kept the disease spreading. If society would end the stigma and discrimination concerning HIV, people would be free to openly take measures to protect themselves and their partners. If the military were to end the homophobia that created this policy, gay and lesbian people would be free to indeed "be all that they can be."
If Dim Is King, Send Me to Pandora
Posted by EarthMother, Jan 25 2010, 04:21 PM
If “Dim Is King,” Send Me to Pandora
Billy recently sent me a wonderful piece of commentary by Will Durst entitled “Dim Is King.” In this right-on, witty one-pager, Mr. Durst points out that, “People used to be embarrassed to be stupid. Now they’re walking around…wearing their density like a badge of authenticity.” Oh, Will, you are truly a kindred spirit.
Why has it become not just acceptable, but almost required to butcher the English language in an attempt to prove that you’re not an intellectual elitist or, worse, trying to “sound White?” How can we have allowed our capacity for human relationship to be denigrated and reduced to the few non-words allowed by Twitter? In what warped universe did it seem reasonable and proper for Right Wingnuts to keep their children HOME FROM SCHOOL so they wouldn’t hear the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES tell them why they should stay IN and ENGAGED in school? As Will said, “Screw health care. [Which it seems likely that Congress is doing anyway] How ‘bout some legislation making smug, truculent ignorance a crime?” Oh, but then there would be a significant number of Congresspeople serving time!
Reading Durst’s commentary came on the heels of one of the most inspiring, hope-generating, spirit-renewing experiences I’ve ever had in a movie theatre – my weekend viewing of “Avatar.” I’m sure James Cameron, not the hundreds of creative geniuses around him, will receive numerous awards and endless credit for making this masterpiece, but I suspect he had no idea what he was really “creating.” I also suspect that the majority of people going to see it will be going to see the violent, macho, America-wins-at-all-costs destruction of the Na-Vi people and their planet Pandora. But what gives me hope is imagining the number of people who will walk out of the theatre, if not changed, at least thinking. The movie was an emotional roller coaster ride for me, but the one moment that brought a torrent of tears was when the hero explained his countrymen to the Na-Vi, “You don’t understand! They’re not like you! They killed their Mother.”
As someone who eagerly awaits the return of the Earth-based Mother religions that were decimated by the Christian invasion, and also as a woman living with the realities of life in 2010, that bit of Truth hit my heart like a Na-Vi arrow. Yes, we are killing our Mother. But we also seem to be killing ourselves, our human potential, by embracing the same adherence to stupidity that Will Durst so apply identified. It’s stupid to drive cars that get 10 miles to the gallon, if even that; it’s stupid to manufacture products in a way that pollutes our air and our water; it’s stupid to use Styrofoam; it’s stupid to speak or write as if you were too dim or too lazy to pass the third grade; and it’s exquisitely stupid to have sex with someone you barely know without using a condom.
What has to happen before we WAKE UP? Before we stop searching for “cultural” excuses to blame our stupidity on? Before we stop killing our children in schoolyards? Before we stop thinking money is the be all and end all of living? Before we force our Mother’s last gasp and, with it, our own?
Sometimes it’s hard to see past the myriad of things that are wrong to even one thing that’s right. But in my own little corner of this fucked-up world, I celebrate Nature’s dance (yes, even this arctic cold), I glory in long, true conversations, I thrill to the unbridled potential of a blank page waiting for me to fill it up, and I am fiercely proud of striving NOT to be stupid! We all have our dim moments, and must embrace even the dimmest as part of the human condition, but none of us have to settle for them being all there is.
How I long for the day when we will all know the true meaning of, “I see you.”
on Fighting Stigma One T-shirt at a Time