The Bridge to Somewhere
A former board member reminisces
by Michael Blackwell
You’ve heard the saying: “You never know where your path will take you.” Well, my path has always had a bridge attached.
Twenty years ago, I was living in Chicago, working as a freelance advertising writer. I had a wide array of friends and participated in a very active arts community filled with painters, writers, dancers, and actors, all incredibly talented and promising individuals.
One of those people was my best friend, Patrick. He was an amazing graphic artist with a fast (and sometimes evil) wit but a generous heart to friends and strangers… and there were so many.
Of course, you know where this story is going. Yes, the day came when he found out that nagging cold was not just a cold, but pneumonia. And that pneumonia was more than HIV infection, but actually AIDS. This was in 1986. There were only alternative therapies then: Chinese herbs, acupuncture, body work and meditation. Did these therapies really work? They certainly didn’t hurt Patrick. Back then, a person with HIV/AIDS would try just about anything to survive. There was fear but there was also a lot of hope, too.
One of the strongest and healthiest “therapies” Patrick depended on was a small, but determined group of HIV-positive men (and a few HIV-positive women and like-minded supporters) who came together to find comfort and education that had never existed before.
This was the birth of Test Positive Aware Network (TPAN) and Positively Aware magazine. (God bless founder Chris Clason.)
Every week, Patrick would go to hear the latest updates in HIV research, participate in the lively group discussions and always make the latest members joining the group feel welcomed. Many of Patrick’s personal friends also became great supporters and volunteers at TPAN, myself included.
Unfortunately, within a year, Patrick’s health was failing. Patrick was in and out of the hospital every few months… another bout of pneumonia, then uncontrollable diarrhea and wasting and the final blow, spinal encephalitis that put him into a life-threatening coma. We felt helpless standing around his hospital room as we watched him struggle breathing. Hannah, a gifted meditation practitioner, sat at the head of his bed as we held hands in a circle, eyes tightly shut.
Hannah spoke, “Patrick wants you to know there’s no need to worry. It’s like a bridge. One moment, he says, he is standing here in this room; the next step he is in the arms of his loving mother, surrounded by friends.” In my mind’s eye, I saw him walk across that bridge, turn back and give us a playful grin. Later that day, Patrick passed away peacefully.
It was difficult to lose someone so close, so young. At that time, the NAMES Project was asking for quilt panels to “never forget” those who had left us. None of us really knew how to sew, but we knew we had a tribute to make: a bridge that would take us from this sad, sad place to a happier, more hopeful future.
Twenty years later, here I am. Fortunately, I left advertising; I went to work for several years in the non-profit AIDS community and then moved into the world of pharmaceutical sales and marketing. I had found my life’s passion. once again helping others impacted by HIV/AIDS.
Now for the past eight years, I have worked in Southern California for Roche Pharmaceuticals. So today, when I talk to physicians or patients’ groups about my company’s HIV products, I find my mind wandering back to old times, distant places and one unforgettable, old friend.
It is true you really never know where your path will take you. But for me, I always smile when I see a bridge in the distance.
Congratulations to TPAN and Positively Aware magazine for providing 20 years of dedicated medical reporting and support to the HIV/AIDS community!
Michael Blackwell served on the Board of Directors for Test Positive Aware Network in 1988 and 1990. He currently works as HIV Market Specialist for Roche Pharmaceuticals in Southern California. In previous lives he was an advertising writer; volunteered and then worked for Stop AIDS Chicago and AIDS Walk Chicago; and was co-founder of and playwright for the Tellin' Tales Theatre in Chicago.
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